holiday funk

12-23-24

Charlie Brown and Linus talking over a brick wall on a snowy day

It's been a bit of an odd month. Honestly most of December has been a blur for me, as I've just been so tired.

I've not gotten as much done as I wanted. I keep getting decision paralysis with everything I have to do and just end up doing nothing at all. I can't even bring myself to watch TV or play video games some days because everything feels like a waste of time (that's why it says I've been reading and watching the same stuff on my homepage for weeks now lol). So it's just been a lot of sleeping through days for me and time has kinda melted together.

Today, the Eve of Christmas Eve, kinda sucked. I got myself out to do some last-minute gift shopping and just felt myself spacing out in the middle of Target, like it all just felt kind of unreal. I must be burnt out but it's weird because I really haven't done anything that intensive.

It doesn't help that I just haven't been feeling the holiday spirit, which is something I used to really care about. I'm not a religious person but I just enjoyed the vibe of the season, and always got swept up in the Christmas festivities. But this year, even with the Christmas songs blaring on the grocery store speakers, it doesn't feel any different than any other month. The last time I felt this way was with Halloween, where I tried to get myself into the spirit but for Christmas this year I couldn't be bothered for the most part. I will say though, decorating the site this month did liven up my spirits a bit, and I think maybe a good Christmas movie could help but we'll see.

Obviously, things get different when you grow up and have responsibilities, but I don't think that's the whole picture. I genuinely feel the holidays have been in decline year after year. It's culminated to a point where no one arounds me seems to be all that festive, even those younger than me.

Maybe this is just me getting older and projecting onto others, I don't know. Do you feel it too? I hope not. I genuinely hope it's just me and that everyone reading this is having a refreshing, relaxing holiday season. I'm gonna try to as well.
:)