status quo
05-11-24
The tabletop game night I was gonna GM got cancelled again. This is definitely some kind of curse set upon me because it's happened like 7 times over the course of 2 months. I'm more worried that the players are gonna get tired of the delays and pull out (which has happened before).
(╥_╥)
It's fine though. I guess it gives me time to blog, it's been like a month since I've done that. Just gonna catch up on some stuff I did April-May.
I've just been getting used to my new freelance job. Man, I feel lucky and grateful and everything... but it's hard having a job that's so hands-off. I never speak to anyone, not even the admins and I don't really know if I'm doing things right or wrong. If I'm doing things wrong, I won't know until they just kick me off the project. It's one of those expendable jobs in the eyes of the employer. Doesn't help that I have god awful work ethic but I think I'm gradually getting used to it which is good. I think overall, getting back into a routine is good for me.
I also recently went to the doctor for the first time in years to see what was up with my sleep problems. First off, I had to wait 5 whole hours for my 20-minute check up. That's extra insane because it was an appointment I scheduled 2 weeks prior. Plus, the doctor was super loud and unaccomodating.
Overall not a fun time at all. At the very least now I know my body is physically fine. I guess the sleep problems are just a mental thing. The doc suggested it could be mild depression, but didn't really give me any recourse from there. Guess I'll just figure it out?
(￣ ￣|||)
Anyway, Summer has just begun and I really gotta put in some effort to socialize in real life more. It's funny. Sometimes I get impostor syndrome about my autism until I go out and interact with strangers. Then, I very quickly realize "Oh yeah, I very much am autistic."
I had some interactions lately that made me realize just how awkward I can be in even the smallest conversations. Definitely something to work on.
Still optimistic about the Summer though. Gonna reschedule the game night. Get a good workflow going. Practice more art.
For now, I guess I'll just enjoy a chill Saturday after a long week.
