hello world!

02-08-24

Damn, I really went through the trouble of making a whole website because I couldn't commit to journaling like a normal person. I used to run a blog when I was 7, although back then the only thing I had to talk about was the Cartoon Network shows I watched at the time. Suffice to say, past me, a lot has happened since then. I guess it might be good to catch myself up.

Things really changed for me after my family moved from the East Coast city we called home, to a quiet Texas town towards the end of my high school years. I wasn't really the best at making friends, but eventually got a nice friend group going. Now, naturally with starting college right as the pandemic came around, that friend group deteriorated down to two loyal friends I'm grateful for to this day.

As for my brief college years, well I definitely expected more but kinda sped through classes fast. Didn't really make new friends unfortunately, though I had two short-lived relationships somehow. And I didn't have time or motivation for my hobbies or to make many experiences when I was stressing over classes and having depressive episodes. By the time, I was done with college, I felt like a husk that had less meaningful connections when I came out than when I came in. Now, it feels like I'm trying to pick up the pieces of who I once was before.

Geez, that was a bit dour. Sorry about that, past me. But, it wasn't all bad. I had plenty of great experiences too and a part of me is glad to have gotten college over with faster than usual.

But now that its over, and I technically should be a working adult, I'm trying to recapture that heart I had for computers and art. Hey, building this website has already helped a bunch with my motivation, so I'm clearly doing something right.

Still, it does get kind of lonely. I know it sounds trite but I don't think I'm really made for this Texas town. I want to find a job that gives me an excuse to go back to the city. Unfortunately, the job market right now seems intent on keeping me here for the time being. Oh well, all I can do is keep moving forward.

I am genuinely optimistic, even if I can be negative sometimes. I'd like to go back to this post at the end of the year and confidently say, "Geez, what's up with this sad sack, I barely recognize this guy!"

...

That uh... that was a long one. I don't think all my blogs will be this long. I'll probably use this blog whenever I want to ramble about anything, not just my life. I hope I didn't go overboard with sharing information but hey that's what the anonymity is for.

Thanks for reading this far if you did, passerby. I got more, less pretentious stuff I wanna do for this website down the line so stay tuned. And, I hope you're making it in this weird world we find ourselves in.

Oh also, I wrote this the day after my dog's birthday! Wish him a happy birthday everyone!